We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
