as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My Sexting was not on an AP level
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
