NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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