it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He shit in the fireplace
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
