dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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