I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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