I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude i'm inner monologue high
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
