About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
