Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
