'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
