Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
