Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
