Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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