My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
