you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
