Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
