so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
