I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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