haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
