I bet he comes in French.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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