Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
