Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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