Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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