Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
