you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The uberlube is also flammable
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
