Buhtt sex?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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