You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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