you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
