Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I will be naked everywhere
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
