Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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