just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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