Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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