You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
