We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
only if we run a train.
done.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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