ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
