dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
