as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
