Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
do herpes really smell.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Randomize
