I got chris browned last night
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
