We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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