I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
