Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
