remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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