She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
