It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
