her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
