I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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