So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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