Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
