So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
